Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under blog,thougths,love,
What can I say? Ever since the year got started, there’s nothing else in my mind except – you. But can you really blame me? I just want to be with you, see your face, breathing the same proximity of air, doing… ANYTHING with you. I can’t help this feeling but every time I just think of you, I get this feeling in my gut that makes life worth living. That may have came out too strong but I can’t seem to define that feeling with great precision. You really are beautiful in so many ways that words can even describe it. The only true way I can express it is by making you stuff. Some of them may not be of great importance, but know this, all were made while thinking of you. I hope I didn’t imprinted an impression of you as a materialistic man. I just can’t express it via words.
Wherever I look… I just… see you or reminds me of you. Whatever I do, it seem to be much better with you.
January 29, 2012
Posted by fenrir-ab
its been a while since i last post here, i guess this blog is turning into a subjective manner about her. well if that’s the case then so be it.
so what’s been going on.
well last summer i treated her to different places. when to an arcade. eat out (mainly what we were up to) and lastly brought her to an amusement park. its was really fun until summer ended..
now we have to go back to seeing each other less often. its been only 19 days since i last saw her, and by god, its has been tremendously painstaking! i think im going crazy not seeing her its well torturous!
October 19, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab
This is it! I am completely turned. Like a frog that journeys down further the rabbit’s hole — or a spaceman lost to voyage the vast Space — my mind had turned and my heart have decided, that if not her, there simple no one suits my fancy. Even if this ends in tears and lost of time, my devotion and love will never fade. I have turned - that conscious and subconsciously, I have not desire Bella Luna of such kind, not like this I suppose. I will be her shoes that would take her places, the blanket that’ll keep her warm, the tea that makes her feel right at home. Even if door isn’t discovered, I continue loving her, til the end.
August 20, 2011
It takes the tiniest, little bullshit that makes a man says: what the fuck is going on?!
- www.electronicjournal.tumblr.com
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August 6, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under thoughts,writings,blog,love,random,
I wonder if she thinks about what I’m up to? Cause other people seem to conclude we are a couple and it’s the greatest feeling ever.
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July 30, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under thoughts,blog,writing,journal,idea,
Up until now, I never really thought, or notice, the type of people I told my fragile secret to. I never wanted to have kiss and tell but there were days that I reached the top of cup and start spilling - to prevent insanity and satisfy my curiosity. What an odd group of people:
- (1) a deceased friend - i think he was the first to know, or at lease I’d like to believe. Although it’s a lot complicated with him, he seem to be the only one open to such concept and at ease about such subject. Months after his death, I visited him and gave him an ultimate confession. I just wished I could hear his final view about it.
- (2) friend/rival - Even without any decent conversations with him, in most cases, I have a vague concept on what was he up to. I guess the libra scale that measures our relationship change occasionally - much like a see-saw gently and steadily trying to maintain balance. It’s genuinely weird how words, broken puns, completes an understanding conversation. Most of the time we follow a unwritten, unspoken gentlemen’s agreement. But there was a thing in the past that turned it to a childish war. It’s a bit tricky with him.
- (3) my sister - never in my dream that I would tell this to my sister. One day, as maybe I was acting a little suspicious with my recent activities, she asked me quietly but frankly on a relaxed environment. I was curious on what she might say, so I took the opportunity to explain, without hesitation, given it might be my only chance of acquiring her views. Surprisingly, she turns out to be one of the the most supportive in the selected group! Never thought she would give me a positive push to persuade what I like, given the fact that she’s cynical nearly all the time.
- (4) a specific user on a specific forum - I don’t know him but he seem to give out decent amount of support, advice, and word or wisdom. All I know is that we had the same situation but in contrast to mine, he had already been to shangri-la.
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July 25, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under love,thoughts,writings,blog,random,
At times, I hate the way my mind works: one day I’m cleverly in a great mood and the other, seems to just rain cats and dogs. I can assure you that I am neither suffering from bipolarliness nor in any similar state of that matter. It’s just that I over calculate and plant the conclusion deep enough to actually affect my thoughts (I’m not up for it - after all, I am no machine). The scary thing is, most of my presumption (in the past) are bizarrely spot on. It’s quite hard to readjust oneself back to step one; given such experience, especially now that I’m having a much more difficult time coping with the complexity of my current situation. Though, my friend told me otherwise - that it’s as simple as reciting the letters A-Z, he hasn’t have the slightest clue of what I’m experiencing at the moment.
July 19, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under thoughts,writings,blogs,love,opinion,
Before I even stand on the track I’ve chose, I have already realised that the obstacles that sits on it, is next to impossible to leap over. There are too many things that supports the negative outcome of my dilemma and the lack of people supporting what I have become. I don’t know, its weird. Although, I have the tiniest chance (considering any possible scenario), it’s still chance nonetheless. And even with a small chance like this, I’m still hopeful of what the future might turn out.
Is it bad to go on like this? Am I blinded by the mere hope that lingers and plays with my mind?
July 13, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under blog,random,love,writings,thoughts,
- ✔Think About You
- ✔ See Your Smile
- ✔ Hear Your Voice
- ✔ Have Fun Activities with You (in a limited fashion)
- ✔ Dine with You
- ✔ Make You Stuff/s
- ✔ Feel Your Touch
REPEAT ‘til E.L.O. music plays in your head.
I think a drank a little too much > (❤_❤)
July 9, 2011
Posted by fenrir-ab | Filed under blog,thoughts,love,opinion,writing,
It’s hard to say if I am impatient or not. I could withstand long waits without doing something irrational but the thoughts that linger inside me while the grain of sand seems to drop slower than usual is almost unbearably torturous. I feel like I am walking on a tightrope and midway through, I lost my focus and now I’m wobbling just to maintain my balance. Nothing is set in stone anyways, but why do I feel like I placed a large bet on a roulette table and the ball spinning forever?
June 28, 2011
A Concept on Whimsical & Grotesque Chapters
